Monday, June 17, 2013

the cave

(by: me)

Sometimes life's difficulties can make us ugly. Sometimes its hard to find beauty in ugly, difficult circumstances. I rarely share my life here, but I understand this. I've gone through some very difficult times in my life, many intense, ugly circumstances & at times I was won by them. I think the Lord made us to grieve when life takes us on a roller coaster ride, He knows we are human & that we will have to go through a process. For some it takes longer than others to get through those horrendous trials. For me many times life didn't seem worth living, I've been there. I've been in a dark pit where its lonely & scary, I've been in Davids cave; alone. When I go through rough waters today, I think of King David, my personal hero. He was alone, no one can understand his lonesomeness. It was the deepest, most tragic kind of aloness. His life was on the line.  He was in a cave, crying for help, scared, but had times of rejoicing. I've been there. I've been in the cave. David understood true loneliness, so did Christ himself when he asked his disciples to pray while he asked God to take the cup from Him, He knew he was to die for us, our sins, yet His very followers slept while he wept. He knew the truest form of what it meant to be alone.

For years I never liked David; I know this may surprise many, for everyone "loves" this man after Gods own heart. I couldn't understand why such a dysfunctional human being could be so loved by all. He was a lazy father, did a terrible job in bringing up his family, he was a cheat & a murderer. Yet, everyone just loves this man of the Bible, oh, God loved him even more! I could never understand that. David had issues, major ones. But, David repented, he was a survivor, he mourned for his sinful behavior.  I understand him now. I think everyone can relate to him in some way. When I read the Psalms, I see a man who has every emotion I have, hes real, he goes up & down the roller coaster of life. He is so very real in his reactions to life & his troubles. When I am in the cave, I read the Psalms. I read about this man that screams out for mercy & for His God.

A problem with being in the cave is simply staying there too long, if not taken care of, it can become idolatry.  I would never put a time limit on grief, the Lord understands this & I believe it takes time to get over pain. Pain grows you. You cannot grow without it. Without pain, you cant grow or become a humble servant. Pain will bring you closer to Christ if you are a Christ follower. When He brings you to your knees, its just you & Him. ALONE. As I've gotten older, I don't mind being there, I don't mind the cave. He is in the cave with me. He has reserved a place for the both of us in the darkest of caves. I've learned not to pray my trials away, I don't believe that's Biblical. If you see it somewhere, show me & correct me, I want to know. I just don't see it. Have you ever heard someone pray (& I have been guilty of this), "Lord, please take this from me, when will it end? Please lift this!" I've been there, I get it. Who wouldn't want a tragedy or something so significant that your entire world has been turned upside down to just go away? And why wont He just do it??? I don't believe we are to pray trials away. My God walks with me. He doesn't leave me. Through any trial I go through now, my prayers have changed, not like the past. Now I pray: Lord walk along side me, I'm going for a ride, its gonna be ugly. I cant do this without you, stay close by & do not let me sin or fall as I go through this, hold my hand. It doesn't make the trial go away, but I get through it because of Him & with Him right beside me. When the trial subsides, I shine. I have my God close to me & I understand Him better, He tenderly shows me what I need to learn about myself. Each trial I must ask  myself, "what did I learn from this?" not "what did THEY learn from this.
I do not ask, "why me?, instead I ask, "why not me?"

If you are going through something right now, call on Him. Tell Him, you are ready to do this & that you want to do it with Him beside you. Read, read, read your Bible! Get a note book & some pretty gel pens & write down scripture each & every day will the fiery darts are being thrown at you. Quote scripture back at the enemy. No where do I see we should rebuke, we do not have the power to do so. Scripture is our only weapon next to prayer. Know God! Get to know Him well through your trial or hurt. Allow Him to be your best friend through it all. Journal your way through ~ with your new shiny note book & pretty gel pens, write your prayers out, talk to Him. Just write it all out, date it; you will see how far He has taken you when you look back & doing all of those things will only bring you closer to your God, Jesus Christ. Thats what He wants from you, closeness. He doesn't want you to run away when you are hurt or on that bungee cord of life. If your world has just bottomed out, invite Him in. Our first response is to feel so sorry for ourselves, we shut Him out or get angry at Him, don't do it. Go to Him. I know He cares.

Ps. 56:8

Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle: are they not in thy book?

I speak from experience, I've had a pretty rough life, my past is ugly. I am who I am today because of Him! Hes still working on me, I've got a long way to go, I have not arrived & guess what? I never will until I get there, to my home where He is.

Be of good courage my friend, hang tight while you are on the ride & do not let go of Him, God Almighty.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When she was in her fifties, the nineteenth-century writer Elizabeth Prentiss found out her husband had gotten a new job. She’d have to be uprooted from her home in New York and move to Chicago. It meant leaving a lot of friends, and the move would be dangerous to her fragile health.
Here’s what Elizabeth wrote in a letter to a friend:
“Place and position have next to nothing to do with happiness. We can be wretched in a palace, radiant in a dungeon. Perhaps this heartbreaking is exactly what we need to remind us that we are pilgrims and strangers on earth.”
Nancy: Maybe you’re facing a big, difficult change. Remember, true joy doesn’t come from our circumstances; it comes from our relationship with the Lord. He can help you be radiant today, even if you feel like you’re in a dungeon.


  1. Excellent post Mrs. F, thank you for sharing! This is very timely and encouraging to me for what is has been going on with our family. It is also convicting as it reminds me how much I know I need be reading the Bible more in these times of trial yet it's so easy to fill it with other stuff. Have have been meaning for some time now to start journaling and I think I might just start that now (I think I'll pass on the pretty gel pens though ;)). :)

    1. Well, prasie the Lord! Yes, the Bible & only the Bile, Gods Word can get us through anything. Only He & He alone :)

      blessings to you, Josh!

  2. I think that one reason people love David as you say, is because of the fact that he let us see (and God let us see) that he experienced the roller coaster of life. I know that he suffered from depression and dark times, which is a great comfort to those who have suffered similar struggles, especially when so many Christians have said that it's a sin to be depressed or to live "under the circumstances". David was and did, and he was not afraid to talk to God about it, and God put it in His revelation for us all to read.

    As far as praying away trials goes, I don't believe it is wrong to pray that trials be removed. I say this because our Lord Jesus prayed this in the garden before his crucifixion. Luke 22:41-42 And he was withdrawn from them about a stone's cast, and kneeled down, and prayed, Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done.
    The key words there are "if thou be willing". The problem is that many of us don't pray for trials to be removed with a willingness to go on through if God so wills. We just want instant relief, which seldom is His plan.

    I used to think that it was wrong to ask "why?" Then my brother pointed out to me that Jesus Christ asked "why?" on the cross when He said "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" So, it cannot be a sin if it is asked, again, in the right spirit. To ask "why?" in agony of soul or in sincere desire to know the answer is not sin. To ask "why?" in anger or rebellion is.

    I like your analogy of the dark cave. That is so much what it feels like, and it is incredibly lonely. Thanks be to our Lord Jesus who has promised to never leave nor forsake His own!

    1. Yes, yes, so very true.

      Yes, you are so right that He does say, "take this cup from me" This is right. And I see that & I also agree, perhaps I should have explained that since the cup was not lifted, He had to go through that trial for God to be glorified & of course to be a living sacrifice for our sins. It was Gods will regardless if He prayed it away or not. So, I guess I should have emphasized more on the , "walk with me if you wont lift this cup from me." Rather than "dont pray your trials away." In my experience in my human flesh & my wee brain, I choose instead to pray that He will walk with me if it is His will to go through a specific trial for my growth. But, yes, you are right, Christ himself did pray for the cup to be taken. I did know this going into the blog post, but I was thinking more on the lines, He is God & we are not. He is our example & yes then, we can pray our cup to be taken. His will will still go on...

      But, yes, the Word does not lie & I agree. Thank you for that Gospel reminder! :)

    2. Mat. 26:39~ thinking upon this a bit more & I agree with you fully on this, just Jesus says, "if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou will."

      He knew that even if He did pray it away, Gods will had to be done. No matter what. So, yes, we can pray that the trial would be taken, but its so very important to know that most likely the trial will happen, but to depend on Him through it & to walk you through it.

      In my experience, I have prayed before that situation would be taken & He answered "yes." But, even in that "yes", I still had to go through the trial & He answered in His timing. In that time frame, all I could do was lean on Him to help me through, but the trial was still there.

      I hope I make some sense :) Im explain myself poorly, Im afraid.

    3. I understand what you're saying. And, yes that was what I was driving at too. So often the flesh is not willing to ask for deliverance from a situation in an attitude of "nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done." And, seldom, if ever, is it God's will for a situation to just "go away" without some aspect of suffering and growth involved. So, although we may pray that it be removed the important thing is to desire God's perfect will for us.

      Some situations are really difficult to deal with when we know that what someone else did was or is not the will of God. Perhaps it is sin, maybe a bad decision or whatever. But then in some way we are impacted or affected by it. These are really hard to deal with, and yet, that is ultimately what Christ was dealing with when He prayed that prayer because it was for our sins He was going to die, not His own! This makes it a tremendous example to us. Regarding such a situation of his own, Hudson Taylor said something to this effect, "It may not have been God's will for [the other person] to do what he did, but by the time it reached me, it was God's will for me." That is not an easy thing to say, but it is the mind of Christ.